


A First and Second Kiss

by cadastre



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, First Kiss, Kissing, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-14 12:48:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29171376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadastre/pseuds/cadastre
Summary: She is allowing him to kiss her now, but it cannot last.
Relationships: Kíli (Tolkien)/Tauriel (Hobbit Movies)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 26





	A First and Second Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> A super short drabble that has been sitting around on my computer for ages, based on my headcannon that by dwarf standards (although certainly not by elf standards) Kili would be considered ugly.
> 
> Un-beta'd.

He is terrified the first time he kisses her.

Not because Kili fears violence: he has seen enough bloodshed in his time that it no longer makes his mind go blank with fear. And although he has seen Tauriel fight he does not fear the blade at her hip or the bow on her back, not at this moment.

Nor is it because she is the first person he has kissed.

He is not handsome: he knows he is not handsome. He has a small nose and small ears and can hardly grow a beard. He has known that he is not handsome almost as soon as he knew that handsome was a good thing to be.

But Fili is handsome, and Thorin is King Under the Mountain and so, handsome or not (most certainly not, he knows, _he knows_ ), he had still gotten to kiss the occasional dwarf lass or lad.

It is not that she is an elf.

It is a fearful thing to kiss an elf, it is true. She is tall and willowy and her hair flows freely down her back. Her skin is smooth beneath the calluses on his palm, and as he touches her he realizes (perhaps for the first time truly _understands_ ) that she is ancient. She is ancient and she is allowing him to cup her cheek and rest his hand on her hip and press his lips to her own.

And that is the root of it, Kili thinks.

She is allowing him to kiss her now, but it cannot last.

She will come to her senses and see what the others see, will finally notice everything she has somehow overlooked so far. She will notice his pitiful attempt at a beard, how slender he is compared to the other dwarves. She will realize he is the second son, the second nephew of the king. She will notice his worn leathers, the dust of the road that he is not sure he will ever wash away, no matter how much gold they recover.

She will remember that he is a dwarf.

He is terrified to see the look on her face when she changes her mind.

He must pause, or perhaps she simply senses his thoughts.

She pulls away slightly, delicate fingers twined in his hair, a hand resting on his shoulder.

Oh, he blesses the weight of that hand, the gentle tug from her fingers against his scalp. He blesses it and breathes in the clean scent of her, tries to ignore the racing of his heart as he waits for the axe to fall.

_This is it_ , he thinks, pressing his eyes shut so he does not have to see the look in her eyes. _She will tell you that it was a mistake and she will flee, and you will never know this happiness again._

_You were a fool to think she could love you._

But she does not move her hand, does not pull away further. The pause goes on, and then on some more, and finally he has no choice but to open his eyes.

“Why did you stop?” she asks him, her eyes wide and gentle and far too observant.

And how can he answer that?

He cannot lie and he cannot tell the truth.

He allows himself to breathe in and then forces himself to look her in the eye; in the eyes that he has seen reflect the memory of stars in halls deep below the earth.

“I am afraid.”

He cannot lie and he cannot tell the truth.

He waits for her to finish pulling away, steels himself for the pain of having her take her hands off him.

But again it does not come.

Instead, she reaches her cool fingers up and rests them gently on his cheek and he cannot breathe.

“I am afraid as well.”

And before he can understand the words she has said she is pulling him closer, is tilting his face up gently, and is kissing him again.


End file.
